How to Flirt without being annoying

image29Men who are inexperienced at flirting often come across as intensely annoying to women. You may appear weird, creepy, or just irritating by going overboard with your attempts at flirting.

Don’t be pushy

The most common reason why a woman will think you are annoying is because you are far too pushy. She could be willing to flirt with you and see how things develop, but she is not sure if she is really interested in you yet. You being too pushy is a sure way of quashing any interest she has in you. This is because she is focusing on how to get rid of you or how to extricate herself from an uncomfortable situation. Suddenly, it does not matter that she thought you were kind of cute five minutes ago. You are no longer attractive to her if you come across as desperate and unable to read her signals.

Not being pushy is so simple. If you drop a hint that you would like to see her this weekend, and she does not take it, do not keep suggesting that you want to see her. If she seems to be disinterested or even offended by your attempts to make flirty jokes with her, then take a step back and try talking to her like a normal person, without the jokes.

Give her value

Annoying flirters do not bring anything to the table. Hanging off her every word, interrogating her about herself, humble-bragging, sexy woman and cigarand getting annoyed when she talks to someone else are all common habits of annoying flirters. You need to hone your flirtation skills so you add value to your interactions. You should have funny or interesting stories that will make her enjoy talking to you. Finding common ground, rather than endlessly talking about yourself, is also important.

Don’t tell her you’re bored

Trying to start of conversation by telling her that you are bored is just plain irritating. She does not care that you are bored. In fact, she will have a lowered opinion of you as she thinks you must have no hobbies to keep yourself entertained. This follows on from adding value in your interactions. Messaging her “I’m bored, what’s up?” adds absolutely no value, and it is a chore for her to reply to you.

Contact her sparingly

You do not need to devote all of your attention to her in order to flirt. If you have already seen her at work that day, resist the urge to message her that evening. Contacting her too often will be suffocating. She will feel exhausted from having to formulate responses to your messages. You should only ramp up how often you are contacting her once you are sure that she is interested in you.

This also applies for real-life interactions. If you are in a group situation, do not focus only on talking to her. Ignoring the rest of the group so you can give her your complete attention can come across as creepy.

Disclaimer: This article first appeared on

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