How to get laid at the office

office sexHave a crush on someone in the office? Is the sexual tension between you and a co-worker so thick that it’s foaming at the top? You are not alone if you recently found yourself fantasizing about getting it on with the hottie nestled in her cubicle across from you. In fact, you are in the majority. EliteSingles, a UK-based dating service, found that 56 percent of women and 61 percent of men have sexual fantasies about colleagues, and have flirted with the idea of doing the “dirty” deed at the office.

Imagine for a moment. Your hot female supervisor storms to your desk dripping with sex appeal to scold you for screwing up a simple request she asked you to do. She stares into your eyes as she rants but all you see are her moist lips mouthing the words, “In my office now”. The head-butting erupts, the friction builds and the argument erupts into the most ferocious kiss that you have ever had. Before you know it, she is bent over her desk calling you daddy. Check that one off your bucket list.

Unfortunately, we don’t live in a fantasy world and the real-time statistics show that only 21 percent of women say that they would follow through with their fantasies compared to 52 percent of guys. The number one place for guys to fulfill their workplace fantasies is the storage closet. Women want more space and privacy so they prefer the conference room, their office, or the elevator. I would think the elevator is the least private. Who is quick enough to have sex between floors. Wait a minute. That gives me hope. Maybe there is a woman out there for a two pump chump like myself. I think I’m going to start hanging out by elevators in high rise buildings.

It seems that office parties are the best time to make your move. Memorable moments usually arise after alcohol is added to to the equation. According to YourTango.com and a national survey conducted by Trojan and Harris Interative, 24 percent of Americans have taken the opportunity of workplace parties to hookup (either during or immediately afterward) with a coworker, with 42 percent being guys and 27 percent being ladies between the ages of 18 and 34.

The Top 5 places for a workplace rendezvous are:

1. Take a colleague home

  • 74% of people do it this way

2. Conference Room

  • 18% do it this way

3. Mail Room

  • 16% do it this way

4. Copy Room

  • 10% do it this way

5. Boss’ Desk

  • 10% do it this way

If the place exists, they will come. Chances are someone as either had sex there or thought about it. Leave a comment, where are the dirtiest places that you have had sex or fantasized about having sex?

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